On Tuesday night I wanted to go swimming after work. Although the pool should be open through this weekend, the temperature is supposed to be in the very low 80s by then and we've already established that the pool sucks when the water's too cold.
I spent that afternoon thinking about swimming. How quickly could I get changed after work? Could I repeat my performance from Saturday morning and swim laps for an hour straight?
And then right around 3:00, the sky started looking really ominous. Our local weather forecasters have been predicting late-afternoon thunderstorms for about the last eight weeks; it began to look as if yesterday would be the day they finally got it right. Of course.
By the time I got off the subway and headed for the bus, I wasn't thinking about the pool anymore; I was hoping we'd make it all the way home before the really blinding rain erupted, and I was also wondering if we'd lose power at home before I could even sneak in a treadmill session. It looked that threatening out.
And then something great happened. Halfway through the ride, I noticed that the sun was fighting its way through the gloom. By the time I got home, the sunny skies were totally winning the war; the black and gray clouds had scooted off to the distant horizon.
And the dress I bought to wear for our anniversary arrived (which was great timing, because my husband was out and I want to surprise him with it). I couldn't resist trying it on. It looks incredible and brings the va-va-voom, and I'd like it to look even better by the time our anniversary rolls around in a little over a month.
So I took off the dress, put on my bathing suit, and headed for the pool. I had the place practically all to myself; there were a few children scattered around but I guess people had been frightened off by the interlude of scary skies. Pity; by the time I got there, there wasn't a cloud to be seen. The weather gods really gave me a break.
I had a great time. I didn't swim for an entire hour, but that was on purpose; I was determined to spend at least a few minutes just goofing off in the water. I swam laps for about 45 minutes. When adult swim started and the kids got out of the diving area, I went off the diving board. Several times. My husband likes the diving board more than I do, but last night I found myself having a ball. Knowing that this might be my last shot at the community pool for this year, I didn't want to leave. My body finally made the decision for me, as my lower legs and feet started stiffening and cramping up a little.
And yet I dragged out leaving as long as I could. I stood there drying off, looking around at the place and taking in all the splashing and shrieking sounds for just a few more minutes. I didn't want it to be over.
It wasn't just about the pool; it's about the feeling that being at the pool has given me. For years, we'd drive past this pool in the summer and I'd get a little pang of regret. I'd always liked swimming, but I was certain that my days of donning a bathing suit in public and swimming or even just splashing around were gone for good. And yet, there I was. I'm no supermodel. I'm still more "Before" (or maybe "During") than "After." But that isn't the point. The point is that this journey keeps surprising me, even now. I find myself doing things I never thought I'd do, or ever do again. And I find myself enjoying them that much more because I once believed they were out of the question for me.
I'm glad you got your swim in. More so it is wonderful that you got to do what you love so much this year by going to the pool. Cheers for you!
Posted by: Annie | August 31, 2006 at 11:20 AM
Nicole, Nicole, Nicole!
You've now invaded my evenings! I stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and had the crazy idea of reading all posts from the beginning. Of course not know you girl can write! So I've been spending my past 5 evenings reading up on your journey! And what a journey it is! WOW! Fantastic! You are a great inspiration to me. I started out in February weighing 278 lbs, and I am not about to exit the 230s. So almost 50 lbs lost. Ultimate goal is to reach 165 (I am 5'7), so right about where you are! I SO ENVY you! Lol. Keep up the great work, and keep the great posts coming, I will be reading them everyday.
Posted by: Karine | August 31, 2006 at 12:29 PM
I think we're going to need to see some photos of this anniversary dress.
Posted by: Marla | September 01, 2006 at 07:30 AM
Ah yes! What a liberating moment, to do the things you've always liked, to crash through whatever barriers (be they physical or mental) to do them. Its not just the swim (though I too love swimming). Its getting there. Its putting that suit on and jumping in. Brava!
I agree with Marla: we will need to see Anniversary Dress photography.
Posted by: v'ron | September 01, 2006 at 02:54 PM
Wonderful! I love the freedom of the water too and used it as a motivation when I first started my plan. I would work out in the gym, followed by the treat of the late night pool at the club, usually empty. I'd dim the lights, float in the water and think of freedom. You're doing so well!!
Posted by: lynette | September 02, 2006 at 02:06 PM