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You just articulated so well what I have been feeling for about 2 years.


What a perfect post. That's exactly how it feels and how so many of us rationalize it.


Getting our brains to go from "I have to do this the rest of my life" to not even thinking about it – Just Doing It – is such a leap. I've seen a few pounds creep back on this past year, despite eating right and exercising. And I've been completely unwilling to add more movement or eat less food. I'm trying to be more matter of fact about it: If THAT is what I want, THIS is what I have to do. And I'm trying not to think about the rest of my life. Just for today.

I'm so glad you saved and posted this; your perspective is very helpful in sorting things out.


Great description. My current theory is that it's a good idea to schedule in some breaks - instead of having bad habits creep back in over a period of weeks, maybe it's possible to schedule a week "off" and be completely hedonistic, and then come back to it rededicated.

I suppose that's playing with fire, though, for many people, if one is prone to binge eating or has a lot of triggers.

Anyway, glad to hear you're in a better attitude now.


Oh yeah... I hear every single line of what you've got written here. (I have a bunch of way-too-depressing posts in a similar vein sitting in my drafts folder. I've just been too chicken to post them.) Failure isn't falling down, it's staying down. The biggest challenge for us is to not re-gain everything we've lost during that period where we're sitting on the ground trying to figure out what the heck happened. I'm glad you're back in a better place. I'm going to keep working my way back there too.


thanks for sharing this old post and i agree - it's incredible easy, to go back to old ways, even if for one day... just the thought of not having to be accountable for what goes into your mouth - is a wonderful thing... i had such a good loss last week that i really had to watch myself this weekend and not 'celebrate' with food - some things are just hard to undo, regardless of how far you've come...


I, for one am glad that you kept and posted this entry. I have been helped most in life when people share their difficult times and "ickier" feelings. I was struck by a thought when reading this post, that possibly we need these dips in our road of recovery to make a necessary adjustments. It is something that a lot of us face, and possibly this is just another AFGO (another freaking (or other word, depending on frame of mind) growth opportunity). I wonder if my reticence in accepting that this is a life long way of living, as opposed to, when do I get to be part of the "Pepsi generation"? Meaning when do I get to eat and drink with impunity??????? I'm guessing probably never, as my body still reacts the same way when more calories are taken in then expended. It goes with the fantasy of when I am thin, my life and I will be perfect. Intellectually I know that is total bunk, but on the days that it is tougher than usual, it is so much nicer to think about, rather that just slogging onward and upward. Thank you for sharing where you were!!!!! There will always be loads of us there with you, and that in sharing it, it makes our road a little less lonely. And knowing that you have been there and done that and are no longer trekking down that murky road, makes it easier to remind me to get off the pity pot! Life is unfair for lots of folks and for far more important reasons that not being able to stuff my face with what I want at the moment! Thank you for your sharing and it is time for me to hop to!!


You asked once if any men actually read your blog, and I wanted to let you know that it's for well-written and insightful posts like this that we overlook the occasional trip to Dress Barn and even the above mention of "Aunt Flo" :o :)

Thanks for capturing that dark period and preserving it for us as both a cautionary and hopeful tale as you've turned it around.

Carol Bardelli

Very insightful and well written. I've done the same thing and I'd bet almost all dieters have. It's the rare bird that cracks this egg the first time out.


God, Nicole how is it that you are describing exactly what I've been going through for the past 3 months or so. I lost 80lbs, have 30 more to go but a plateau just soooo distracted me. Luckily I maintained through it all, but I need to get my kick ass attitude back. Maybe you or your readers could share how you got yourselves out of these ruts...thanks for the brilliant post!

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